You Know You Have A Real Jeep (Are A Real Jeeper) If ...

You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside

You take your date home early on a Saturday night so you can work on your Jeep

You determine that the bestroute from Point A to Point B is through a rock pile or over a mountain

You call a scratch or a dent, a beauty mark

You roll it over and don't get upset

Your Mum or your sister can't get in without help

You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb

You feel nauseous when you see a RAV-4

You get custom pin-striping from trail brush

It takes more than 6 hours to get the weekend newspaper

You take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail; I don't see a trail!"

You've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ, and XJ to your spell-checker

You can see OVER a Suburban

You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up

Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win

It rains and you don't care that your top and doors are off

You change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break

Your "Parts Department" is on blocks behind your house

You take your Mum wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again

You use an ice-scraper on the inside of the windshield

You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents

Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints

Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling

You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other

Winter comes and your can't remember where you left your top

You spend more on car washes than on insurance

Even worse, the car wash won't let you in

You fix almost everything yourself

You feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Landcruiser

You have the phone numbers for all of your favourite mail-order accessory houses memorized

You have all your credit card numbers memorized

You slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground

Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it

You are dating the Service, Parts, or Sales Manager at your local Jeep dealership

You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tyres on the highway

You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep

After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?", the next question is always: " And you do this for fun, right?"

Your criteria for selecting a "significant other" includes auto repair skills--air tools optional

You plan your wedding around the Club's trail ride schedule

You save broken Jeep parts as "mementos"

You know the exact story behind every one (see above)

When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owner's Bible"

You keep trying to convince your significant other to allow you to remove the doors on the family minivan

Your Jeep no longer fits in the garage

You always have your drinks "on the rocks"

You think that any tyre that isn't waist high looks like a bagel

You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps

You can't sneak into home late because the engine is too loud

You know your ring gear size, but not your wedding ring size

All of your shirts have some sort of grease or oil stains, or battery acid holes, from not planning on working on your (or a friend's) Jeep

You have a dirt berm at the end of your driveway from the mud that got washed off of your Jeep

You think that an "airline" is something that connects your differential to your air compressor

You stop trying to get the dirt out from under your fingernails

You buy parts for your Jeep instead of food for your family

You spend Grand Final Footy Sunday turning wrenches rather than watching the game

Your e-mail address refers to your Jeep rather than you

Your garage holds more Jeeps than your house has bedrooms

You have enough spare parts to build another Jeep

You have Jeep parts in your cubicle at work

You have to wash your hands before you go to the restroom

You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage

You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident

You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep

You can air up your tyres without stopping at a gas station

You're constantly getting passed on the highway

The Service Department has to let all of the air out of your front tyres in order to reach the engine

Your wallet is always empty!!!